I get it. You’re tired of spending cuffing season alone, and it’s been years since you’ve had a Valentine. I’ve been there too. But settling for less has never gotten anyone what they wanted. Or what they deserve. Don’t let loneliness keep you in the arms of someone who is not fulfilling your needs. This is a hard lesson I had to grasp for my own peace and happiness. You have to learn to fill voids yourself in order to know what you want, need, and deserve. And once you figure that out, speak up and communicate with your partner on how the relationship can be better. Closed mouths don’t get fed. And above all, be proud of yourself that you know your worth and can confidently speak up about it. Don’t let dating wishes and woes dim your glow. You deserve to date better, but it starts with you.
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. ARE YOU HAPPY? IF NOT, YOU DESERVE TO DATE BETTER.
You have someone to cuddle with every night, but you can count the number of dates you’ve been on lately. You get good morning texts, but rarely a phone call at night to ask how your day went. You have long conversations, yet there seems to be a spark missing. But you get to post cute pictures, and all your friends love your new bae so all is well, right? Girl, life is too short for mediocrity. So be honest with yourself; are you happy?
If you’re not happy, then it may be time to make some changes. No one can decide that for you, and it shouldn’t be an uncomfortable thought. You may need to do some soul searching, or even date yourself to find the answer. But they’ll be necessary tasks for you to be able to confront yourself and be honest. Every commitment you make in life should be rooted in happiness. And if it’s lacking, then know you deserve more and to date better. And that’s ok, boo.
SPEAK UP. YOU CAN’T DATE BETTER WITHOUT COMMUNICATION.
Never feel guilty about knowing how you want to be loved, or how you deserve to be treated. From experience I know it can be a hard concept to internalize, but your personal happiness is always the priority. So be your own biggest advocate, and communicate your needs often. Besides, you won’t be any good in relationships if you don’t know how to be good to yourself. And if you’re not getting what you need, understand that may not always be the fault of a bad partner. Incompatibility may be the culprit, which would require hard work and straightforward communication. You have to speak up about the things you want so they are known and respected. This also gives your partner the courtesy of understanding how you feel, and the opportunity to make things better. You can’t date better or get what you deserve without communication. So speak up, sis.
BE HAPPY WITH THE OUTCOME. YOU DESERVE TO DATE BETTER, NO MATTER WHAT.
The hard part about accepting that you deserve to date better is that others may not do the same. Not everyone will meet you where you need them to, and that’s ok. Who is meant for you will step up and happily meet your needs, and who is not will dismiss themselves. You have to decidedly be happy with either outcome. Temporary pain and disappointment is inevitable when choosing and prioritizing happiness. So you have to learn to acknowledge the possibility as a part of the process. But be confident in the fact that when you decide that you deserve better, better will find you. And you’ll be happier than you were in those Instagram pictures with the fake cheesy smile. This real type of happiness will have you truly glowing like no other. So be patient, and happily choose to stand on what you deserve. No matter the outcome.
If you have to spend another cuffing season alone, you’ll live. It will be far better than settling for less in exchange for some companionship. When you prioritize your happiness and what you deserve, you won’t want to waver on it. Once you know better, you’ll date better. Confidently speak up when your needs are not met, and happily accept that not everyone will fit the bill. You’re a treasure baby, not everyone deserves the booty. (Yes, corny pun intended).